You’re looking for Ms. Right, but where is she? How do you meet women these days? Is there a sure fire method? If you’re serious about settling down, and lots of guys are, here is some advice to help you meet the woman of your dreams.
First, do you know what you want in a woman? If you don’t know what you want, how will you know you’ve found her? Take a few minutes and think about what matters to you. It’s OK to include looks in your list. You are not shallow or vain to want a pretty woman in your life. It is also OK to think about build, sense of humor and intelligence. This mystery woman will come with a personality and it is up to you to know if you prefer the life of the party or quiet and brainy.
Once you have thought through what you want, you are ready to go out and look. Where you go to meet women depends on what kind of woman you want. Are you looking to meet older women? A bar may or may not be the best place to look. Only you can say for sure. Consider taking a cooking class or a wine tasting class. That could be a fantastic place to meet an older woman, especially.
There are many places to meet women, considering they make up half the population. You’ll see single women at the grocery store and the gym, at church and at work. Knowing how to talk with a woman is the next step. If you already know her and want to ask her out, if for example you have mutual friends or you work together, you can call her up and say “I think you’re really nice. Can I take you out for dinner?” She can decide — yes or no — and if the answer is “No,” you should accept it graciously. An appropriate response might be “Ok, well thanks for chatting with me. I’m sure I’ll see you around. Take care.” Do not take it personally. In all likelihood, she really did just get out of a relationship or is seeing someone steady.
If you want to meet her without any introduction, try honesty. Women can spot a “smooth” pick up line a mile away. Sincerity and honesty are your best friends in the battle of the sexes. Walk up to her and say “I think you are the prettiest woman in this room. Can I buy you a drink?” Or whatever it is that made her catch your eye: “You look amazing in red and I just wanted to tell you that.”
You will have a few rejections and you will have more than a few dude dates, but that is just fine. The more you get out there and look around, the more you understand what you want in a woman. The more practice you get, the better you’ll get at asking for that first date and making small talk. You may get lucky and find true love the first time out. If not, just remember that she is out there. Ms. Right is out there; you just have to spot her.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Hey everyone, greetings from Sweden. This is a cool blog. I’m wondering if you have any advice on staying out of the friend zone with girls? I’m really tired of women telling me they just want to be friends. Maybe I’m being too nice?
Hi Coy, Thanks for the comment. No! You are not being too nice. But you are waiting too long. I think that women have two modes — friend and lover — and (generally) once a woman thinks of you as a friend, she won’t be able to think of you as anything more. I’m sure this is not true for every woman, but I think the mistake that most men make is waiting too long to ask the woman out. If you’ve been friends for over three months the odds are against you moving it beyond friendship.
Stumbled into this site by chance but I’m sure glad I clicked on that link. You definitely answered all the questions I’ve been dying to answer for some time now. Will definitely come back for more of this. Thank you so much
Some good insights on this site…right now I have a question on this topic because I am writing a book dating and how to get a girlfriend in today’s world. I’d love to ask for your thoughts on this new trend of guys studying “pickup”, and I’m wondering whether this stuff works? Is there one “pickup expert” out there who truly has techniques that work?
Hi Genaro, Thanks for the kind words. Life is hard enough without the added stress of trying to find the right person to share time with!
Hi Coy, Thanks for dropping by again. To answer your questions in reverse: I do not have any opinions on the merits of the various “pickup” gurus out there. I bet that the techniques do work because language is such a powerful tool. Understanding how someone views the world (from an NLP point of view) is incredibly powerful in communication. The thing that bugs me about “pickup” experts is that the goal seems to be sex and not love. That is NOT what I’m about at all. Any idiot can find someone to have sex with. But finding love…. That takes work.
Hey, got a question about this…I am a “pickup artist in training” in Los Angeles and one of my main obstacles when I attempt to pick up women is physical escalation. How can you tell when it’s the correct time to establish body contact with a girl, and what is a good, subtle way to do this?
Thanks for the question, How To. I am not a fan of “pickup” artistry because it is usually just about the thrill of the conquest, right? But, here’s my answer: it’s all about body language. Look at her posture and gauge the eye contact. And then, if those seem to be positive, a simple touch on the forearm would be a good place to start. Not a caress, just a light touch. Let me know how it goes, OK?
Greetings from Sweden. This is a nice blog. I’m wondering if you have any advice about staying out of the friend zone with girls? I’m really tired of girls telling me they just want to be friends. Maybe I’m being too nice?
Hi Sweden! Thanks for the question. I’m old school, maybe but I think that unless you don’t ever want to be more than friends, just DON’T be friends with a woman. The friend zone is slippery. Sure the plots of a million sit-coms and rom-coms are about friends falling in love but in my experience that is strictly fiction.
Women are wired differently than men and if she flips on the friend switch, you are not ever going to get her to flip it off.
I have to say, it is surprising how many guys I know are going out with Asian women. I’ll confess that I do find some Asian ladies to be very beautiful, but what do you think the attraction is really based on? Why do some white guys only date Asian women…can somebody explain the attraction to me?