Week 221 “Apocalypse, Nowish”

in 238 Weeks

Why is it lately that the weeks seem so hard? There’s so much going on between work and family and day-to-day chores that it seems like there’s never any time just to sit back and relax on the porch. As it happens sometimes, when there’s a lull at work, other things step in to fill in any free time. It’s supposed to be a slow time of year for us, but the days fly by as though it were Christmas.

Though not like it’s the end of the world — as it seems to be on Angel. But that doesn’t mean I’m any less tired at the end of the day! But things are definitely heating up for our friends on Angel. In Apocalypse, Nowish” the Beast has awakened and in fact Cordelia and Connor were on the spot when it happened. I wonder if that means anything, because the Beast arose exactly where Connor was born. I don’t really understand why he didn’t kill Cordelia. He surely could have. Instead he went and did this weird sacrifice the top of a building, knocked out all of our good guys and then jumped away. But not before suggesting to Angel that Cordelia was in danger again. Who knows if the Beast realized what he was doing when he made that suggestion, but the outcome could be very grave for our friends.

I think I understand Cordelia’s motivation for sleeping with Connor. It truly feels like the end of the world and Connor has been very kind to her. It probably seems like a simple but meaningful gift that she can give to him. Simple human reaction might be the only thing that we can control when the world seems out of control. And we do things we wouldn’t normally consider. Oddly enough, I think I find correlations with money because it’s kind of like if you’re in debt, and it feels like more debt than you could pay off in a year or five years, well then adding to that debt just seems inevitable. You can’t change the situation (at least that’s what you think) and since you can’t change the debt, what does it matter if it grows? I’m not sure why our brains work that way. If we understood why our brains work that way, we’d all be a lot happier.

On the other hand, a different function of our brain is the part that allows us to go through life focusing on mundane little things in the face of realizing that at any moment we could be taking our last breath. Life truly is unpredictable and you never know from one moment to the next if you’re about to have to buy a new car because yours just broke down or if you’re about to be fired or something else, even worse. And if we had to walk through every day holding all of those possibilities at the forefront of our brains, I think we’d go nuts. So it’s a great thing that we have that sort of coping mechanism implanted in our big brains. So you can get up in the morning and have your coffee; do your commute and feel like every day is very much the same. And when big changes come, it’s like you’ve just been shaken out of the dream. And I think that’s how Cordelia feels…….  But we’ll have to wait and see what next week’s episode brings.

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